Monday, October 29, 2012

Getting a little Insane

Steven and I started Insanity last week. If you have not heard of the Insanity workout look it up. It's an intense type of interval training. It is the hardest workout I have ever done. After the warm up I am dripping sweat and there is still 20-30 minutes left in the workout. The harder 20-30 minutes. We have to take a lot of breaks, but we like it. The trainer Shaun T is intense but motivating. He constantly wants you to do more and work harder and even though he is on the TV somehow you want to do it. You want to do better and work harder to impress him, even though he can't see you.

And I have seen results even after just one week. I have been eating pretty much the same. Well actually after we work out (after the girls are in bed), I eat a little more. After some research I have learned that you need a combination of protein and simple carbohydrates after working out to properly replenish your body and maximize your results. Last week my snack of choice was 2 hard boiled egg whites and a strawberry fruit bar after working out. It worked for me. Gave me a little energy too. Oh and for results, I lost 5lbs. I was shocked. I haven't lost that much weight in one week since I started losing weight and lost primarily water weight. I don't expect that to continue (I wouldn't complain if it did though), but it is a great way to know that working this hard is doing something. Steven even said my legs are looking slimmer (an area that has refused to join the losing weight train).

So far it is great, and we are staying motivated. Doing it with Steven has helped tremendously. I want to spend the time with him, and we both want to improve our health. We keep each other motivated too. I know he wants to keep going and if I stop he may, so I keep going. And he knows the same about me. We do it and keep going for each other and ourselves.

And just a warning if you are wanting to start exercising and getting in shape, I would not start with Insanity. Get yourself into working out first, do some other DVDs, run, lift some weights or something, but know that this is intense and hard for even the people in the DVD. They all take breaks too. But also you don't have to be in perfect shape to do it. I am far from that but I can still do it, at my own pace.

Friday, October 26, 2012

The In Between and the Navy

The in between phase in anything seems to be the worst part. It's that time when you are waiting and usually cannot do anything. Ugh. It seems that's where Steven is at with the Navy right now. Okay not everything with the Navy, but 2 big things.

1. Exam results. For those who don't know to advance in the Navy you have to take an exam (or be capped, a different situation). It sounds easy, study hard, pass the exam. No that easy. Even if you pass the exam, you may still not make the next rank. There are a lot of number games played, and it gets complicated with extra points and whatnot. It's a bit ridiculously complicated if you ask me, but the Navy has never asked me. Anyways, Steven took the exam September 6, he should get the results toward the end of November. No this is not because of some mishap in the system, this is normal. They take the exam and then sit on pins and needles for 2+ months waiting for the results. It sucks. And I am convinced there is some person sitting in an office somewhere twiddling their thumbs and laughing because it seems to me there should be some kind of computer program that can have all the results ready much faster.

2. Orders. Every 3 or so years as and enlisted person in the Navy you choose new orders (or are assigned). The best way I can explain it to people who don't know the military life is to relate it to a huge company and every 3 years you are required to change jobs alternating between two different divisions (Sea and Shore). You have to apply for a few new jobs and hope the magical detailer decides you fit with the one you really want. They submit a Navy "resume" type document and different commands look at it and can make comments, but it seems that ultimately the detailer is the man. Anyways, there is a time frame you have that you can apply for these jobs. 7-9 months out from when you are to be leaving your current job. Right now Steven is 11 months out. Which means December time he will be choosing new orders. So we are waiting to see what this means for our family. Will we be moving? If so, where, in the US, or Japan? Will Steven be deployed constantly? What kind of ship will he be on? Will there be something that changes it all? There are a lot of what ifs that could be thought of, and ultimately we still have 2 months before we could have any idea of answers. (Once you apply for orders it takes time to find out if you got them or not of course)

The in between. The time where we wait. Wait to find out news. Wait to make decisions. Wait wait wait. It's the Navy way. Oh and please don't think this is complaining about the Navy. It's not. I love the Navy. I love being a Navy wife. I love the things the Navy has done for our family. It could be much much worse and we definitely realize that everyday. We thank God Steven has a job everyday.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Still a bit of a Teeny Bopper

I can't think of anything too interesting to write today. I'm not sure why. So we'll see where this goes.

I have recently been listening to some different music than just country. It's good to branch out. I have discovered something about myself that I may be a little ashamed to admit. There is part of me that is still a teeny bopper. Yes when I heard One Direction (one of today's Backstreet Boys or *Nsync) I was excited. I like it. I kinda want to buy their CD. I know you can make fun of me, because I still buy CDs and because I like their music. But let's be honest, if you were once a teeny bopper, you will always be a teeny bopper.

Many of us now have real jobs, are married, have children, yet still admit it, when you heard that the Backstreet Boys were getting back together, you got excited. And when you heard that Justin Timberlake got married, you were a little sad. Because even if you are married with kids, you believed he was secretly just waiting for you.

For a while I was a little embarrassed to admit that, yes in my middle school early high school years I attended a Backstreet Boys, *Nsync, and 98 Degrees concert. Now I am proud. I was a teeny bopper. I had the posters, the CDs, the magazines, the whole shebang. I was invested in Justin and Brittney, and Nick and Jessica. I thought they would make it work. Laugh if you will, but I know there are others of you out there reading this thinking yes, I did the same thing.

So if you were like me, be happy to know that there are still boy bands out there (even if they aren't exactly referred to as that anymore). Because think about it, One Direction and the Jonas Brothers, the music still sounds a little familiar and makes you smile.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Offended

I am not someone who gets offended easily. I am pretty go with the flow laid back when it comes to jokes and comments made at my expense. But I was offended and kinda hurt recently by a comment made to Steven about me. I have worked my butt off to lose 75lbs. I have watched what I eat, I have worked out, I have done it the right way. At least the right way for me. But last week a coworker of Steven's made a comment that was mean and I haven't been able to shake it, so hopefully writing about it will help. If you work with Steven or know the guys that do the person that said it would not surprise you.

Anyways, Steven recently told a couple guys in his shop that I had lost 75lbs and that he was proud of me. One guy asked if I had done it the "right" way or if I had tried to use some quick fix thing. Steven said no that I had watched what I ate and worked out, and then showed him the before and after picture I posted after losing 50lbs. The guy's response was not your typical, good for her, or wow that's a difference, instead it was "You married her when she was that big." Who says that!! I mean really! I hate people like that. Has no one taught you that if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all. Especially to someone's husband. And no this is not a guy who is in great shape and I'm sure he has difficulty passing the Navy fitness tests. So who does he think he is to say something like that. And yes, my husband did marry me when I was that big and has loved me through all my weight ups and downs. Through pregnancy and horrible moments. He has loved me unconditionally because when you are married that what you do. He married me for me. He supports me. If I said right now I am done. I am not going to lose more weight. He would be fine with that. If I told him I was going to do something extreme and dangerous just to lose more weight he would tell me to stop, because he wants me to be healthy, not skinny.

And let me tell you this, even at my very heaviest when I was pregnant with Mady, when I weighed 120lbs more than I do right now, I still took care of myself. I still showered, did my hair, my makeup and didn't just give up. And yes my husband still loved me.

If you are trying to lose weight, please do not give these people the time of day. I hate that I have spent time even writing this. I don't want a person like this to have an effect on me, yet sometimes you just can't get it out of your head. He won't read this. I will probably never say anything to him because I'm nice and thankfully can avoid being around him. And now that I have put it out there I hope to get it out of my head. And thank you to all that have supported me. For all your kind words and encouragement, you will never know how much it helps. And to those who think I was gross before, or even now, I don't care. At least I am doing something to better myself. I doubt that guy is doing something to stop himself from being a jerk (and yes I had many other stronger words in my head).

Monday, October 22, 2012

A Time Out for Mommy

I am a time out mom. Time outs work for us. It isn't always a sit in the corner time out, sometimes it's more of a sit quietly and color or just take a breather by yourself. This does not just apply to Mady (Brynn is still a bit young), but it also is for Mommy and Daddy. Every parent can tell you there are just moments when it's too much. The crying, the whining, the messiness, it all just gets overwhelming at times. No matter how much you love you kids, you need a break.

I don't get a long break often. An occasional trip to the grocery by myself, locking myself in the bathroom for 10 min, a quiet nap time with no cleaning required. Those are what I can hope for most of the time. They are little time outs throughout the day. A few minutes where no one needs me (although sometimes they cry like they do). But on occasion even the most patient and best mommies and daddies need a longer time out. A couple weekends ago Steven got to go to a movie and next weekend he is going to a football game, so I decided that this past weekend I was going to go out. So that's what I did. Saturday morning I told Steven I would be home by nap and I left. I went to the mall. I tried on clothes all over. I took my time picking things out. Searching through all the wonderful sales. I found new shirts, which was nice after I gutted my closet and drawers of all the clothes that are too big. I am left with just 1 fitting skirt and 2 fitting jeans right now. So I had plenty of room to hang new clothes. When I got home a few hours later I felt better. I felt ready to tackle the weekend.

I go way too long without taking a long time out. Don't be like me. Plan your time so you can take a break once a month or so. Do something just for you. This applies even if you don't have kids. You may be constantly working or doing school or helping others. You deserve a break for yourself. Take one.

Friday, October 19, 2012

The most annoying new mom advice

I was recently asked to contribute advice for a baby shower gift to a new mom. These things are cute and always well meaning. And I knew that included in there by more than one person, including moms themselves, was going to be my least favorite advice. Admittedly I have given the advice myself, I'm sorry to all I have said it to. And it's not given just to new moms, but to any mom with a new baby.

What is it you ask??? Well here goes....Sleep when your baby sleeps. Okay in theory this advice is great. If baby naps, mommy naps. Labor is hard and you are up all hours of the night in the first few months, so the idea of sleeping whenever baby sleeps is a good one, yet completely impractical in most circumstances. If you are lucky enough to live near family or can hire someone to come to your house to cook, clean, do laundry, and everything else around your house for a few months then go ahead, sleep when your baby sleeps. But if you are like me and had in house help for just a week then at some point you are going to have start doing laundry (which adds up quick with a newborn), the bathrooms eventually need cleaned, and you are going to run out of or want something different than your previously prepared and frozen meals. And while a husband and daddy can help, there are some things mommy still needs to do. Also if you are sleeping when your baby sleeps all the time you never truly get time to yourself. At least for me, taking a nap is not exactly mommy time. It's great, but afterwards I don't feel like I've done something just for me.

And please don't get me started if its not your first child. If you have another child at home, particularly one that still needs help and attention like a toddler or preschooler, there is not a chance that you can nap all the time. Even once a day sometimes.

So what's my advice instead, if you want to take a nap do it. But don't feel pressured to. I always felt like people were lecturing me because I would be up doing something during nap time. If you don't want to, if you would rather fold laundry or clean the toilet because that will make you feel a little better to know its done, do it. Even if you would rather just sit and read a book or watch tv do that.

Lets be honest the real time for naps and good sleep was prior to having the baby...

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Getting rid of the X

So I hopped on the scale this morning and was pleasantly surprised to discover I have now lost 75lbs! Yay! Just 5lbs more to my end of the year goal! Which I am thinking I will just make a Thanksgiving goal. That way when I gain a pound or 2 on Thanksgiving I don't have to worry about it too much. I was really surprised because I have not been working out like I wanted this week. I've missed 2 workouts. It has been by choice and for my own sanity though. Sleeping has been rough for me this week, you know when you just can't turn your brain off and you wake up a lot at night (if you have never had this happen to you, please tell me your secret). That's what I've been doing all week. So I have skipped a couple of my morning workouts so I can get some extra sleep. Sleep is a necessity when you have kids. And being able to handle my girls and smile with them is more important than working out to lose a couple extra pounds. Don't get me wrong though, I did workout Monday morning and ran Tuesday night, so it's not like I have just been sitting around.

This past weekend we went to Old Navy to pick up a couple new shirts, because many of mine are not fitting. So I was looking at some shirts in the size that I have most of mine in XL, and I decided that I was going to be daring and buy some just in Large. Now that may not seem like a big deal, but I haven't worn Large shirts in years and years. So finally feeling like I don't have to get the absolute biggest size they have every time, is great. I know that at some stores I still can't wear any of their clothes, but you have to celebrate the small victories when you are trying to do something big.

This is also a reminder that it is probably time to go through my clothes and start getting rid of some that are too big. That is a big thing for me. It's like that final thing saying I promise I will not gain this weight back and be the size I was. But that is what want. So this weekend I think I am going to work on a donation pile. Hopefully it will give my drawers a little breathing space.

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Baby Blues

Things are not always easy in life. That's just how life is. When I decided I wanted to lose weight and commit my life to being healthier I was not in the greatest place. I had 2 children and a husband that I loved, but I was struggling with myself. I was going through a bit of the baby blues. For those who don't know, having a baby is a beautiful and wonderful thing and you love your new baby like no other. But you also have very imbalanced hormones and it is extremely common to go through a rough time emotionally after you've had a child. It is not to be confused with post-pardum depression, which is very serious and if you think you have you need to talk to someone right away.

For me the baby blues didn't come on until Brynn was 3-4 months old. I didn't recognize it in myself right away, neither did anyone I was around. Steven could tell something was off, but honestly I was just going through the motions of it all. I was not truly enjoying my kids, while I loved them very much, I just did what I had to everyday to get through it. I had lost nearly all my baby weight, yet gained 15lbs back. Steven and I went through a tough time. I remember actually telling him through tears one night that I didn't really want to spend time with him. All I really wanted to do was sit around and watch TV or be on the computer. I didn't want to hang out with anyone, especially my husband. Even thinking about it now I get teary eyed and emotional because I can't believe it was true. I was doing harm to my family and it had to stop.

That was when I decided to start get myself in shape. I was watching The Doctors on TV and they were talking about hormones after having a baby and it finally clicked that my hormones had taken control and I was not me anymore. I decided to start eating better, exercise, getting myself healthy, after seeing some of their suggestions. That is what made Megan come back. It took a couple months and more emotional times to finally start to feel like myself again. I consider myself lucky, that I could handle it on my own, but I deeply regret not talking to a friend or family about what I was going through. I didn't really know though. I knew I wasn't myself, but I didn't understand why. My case was not severe. I was lucky there too. But too often this kind of thing doesn't get talked about and then builds and builds until it is overwhelming.

I know I am not the only mom that has gone through this. If you are having a hard time after having a baby talk to someone. Don't think you have to be strong and do it all on your own, you have friends and family you can talk to. I promise other moms have been through it. And pregnant moms, don't let this scare you. You will be fine. But please be aware that it is real and that you have to take care of yourself after you have a baby too, just the little one.

Monday, October 15, 2012

A little secret...

So I have a secret. Okay it's not actually a secret, it's just not something I talk about or get asked about, so it just is what it is. Anyways, here it goes, I still breastfeed Brynn. Okay it's not that big. It actually effects very little of my life right now and unless you are at my house at nap or bed time, you probably wouldn't know. But I know that having a 13 month old and still breastfeeding is not the norm. At least here in the US. But honestly it doesn't seem weird to me. Not now that I am doing it.

I do want to clarify though, I am not one of those moms that will tell you breastfeeding is the only way and that if you give your child formula you are wrong. Please, every mom knows what is best for each child of hers and for herself. With Mady I both breastfed and formula fed for 7 months before I switched to all formula. I knew that was best for her and myself at the time. When I had Brynn I was determined to breastfeed for 6 months, and once I reached the 6 month point Brynn just wasn't ready to give it up and honestly it wasn't interfering too much in my life, so I kept going. Now at 13 months I nurse 2 or 3 times a day and I'm fine with it. Brynn drinks whole milk and eats all kinds of solids and is growing normally.

Why write this? Why tell people when I don't really have to? I am tired of both sides of people who argue about this. The moms who preach that breastfeeding is the only way and that if you give formula you are wrong (those moms annoy the crap out of me). Then the people that think it is just too weird to breast feed past a certain arbitrary point because it's weird. I agree and think it's weird to see a 4 year old breastfeeding, but that is that mom's decision and if she wants to do it, good for her. Her decision in no way effects my life, so why should I care. This goes for many parenting decisions. Why does everyone think thy have a right to tell others how to parent? I understand there are some health and safety issues that I think it's okay to intervene with. A baby not riding in a car seat, yes someone needs to say something. A mom choosing to use a swaddle or not, or let their baby sleep with them, or have a c-section by choice is not harming the child, is not harming anyone around them, so why should anyone else get a say.

Okay this is kind of rambling, but my point is, let parents raise their own children. Shut your mouth, keep your opinion and advice to yourself unless asked and let moms and dads figure it out. And new mommies, don't be so nervous you think you need advice on everything. Go with your gut. You know your baby like no one else. You love your baby unlike anyone ever will. You will screw up. At some point your baby will fall off of something and probably be fine. Don't panic and think you are horrible mom. Every mom has done it. Mady fell off the bed in the bouncer seat at a couple months old. Yep it was horrible and scary and she was fine. They both rolled off the couch at some point, and now that they walk and run they fall all the time. Just stop judging other parents and them be.

Friday, October 12, 2012

This week's obsession: Pumpkin

Please tell me I am not the only one that has been obsessed with Pumpkin recently. Just the idea of it being fall (even if the weather here doesn't show it most of the time) makes me want to have pumpkin. So finding recipes on Pinterest for pumpkin anything just makes me happy. This week I decided to try a couple.  In case you have never cooked with pummpkin, please make sure you get just plain pumpkin and not pumpkin pie mix in a can.  They are different, and right next to each other in the grocery.

First I made pumpkin muffins from a mix that I have had for almost a year. Why I didn't use it before is beyond me, because they are delicious. A great way to keep the calories down on muffins is to make mini muffins. I still get the taste and the muffins I am wanting with half as many calories.

The next thing I made was Pumpkin Fluff from recipe-diaries.comIt is delicious and super easy to make. The biggest test in my household as to if a dessert is good is Mady. She is a picky eater, and this she seems to love. We call it pumpkin pudding for her, she likes pudding. I didn't make any real changes to the recipe, except it does say to use 1 1/2 oz of vanilla pudding. The small boxes are just 1oz, so I just used one box. I think it is still awesome! Also I'm not sure where they got the calorie count from, mine was a little higher, but no big deal, just don't have a ton at one time and you should be good.

Yesterday I decided I wanted to make Pumpkin Chocolate chip cookies. I wanted to make a lower calorie version so I decided to go with a cake/pumpkin mix type of cookie. I have found a recipe at Runs For Cookies that looked good and simple, and low calorie for plain pumpkin cookies, so I decided to use this idea and create my own. Mostly because I didn't have a spice cake mix, only yellow cake, and I'm cheap so I decided to use what I had. So here's what I did.

Ingredients:
15oz can pumpkin
1 Yellow Cake mix
1 tsp vanilla
Pumpkin Pie Spice to taste
1/2 cup chocolate chips

MIx Pumpkin and cake mix until smooth, then add the rest and mix through. Using a spoon or ice cream scooper drop spoonfuls onto greased cookie sheets. Bake at 350 for 10-12 minutes. They are cake cookies so they puff up like cake.

These do not have a strong pumpkin taste, I think next time I would add more spice than I did, but they are delicious. I like cake cookies, a lot because I love cake, so I think they are great. I got 32 cookies out the mix, I think next time I could get 36. My calorie count for these was about 72 calories a cookie. If you take out the chocolate chips it's even lower. Overall they are a tasty cookie that I will make again. Everyone in my house likes them! (If you have never made cookies from cake a mix like this, know that they are sticky when cooled and stay that way) Below are my cookies, aren't they a pretty color!?

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

My Work Out Schedule

I am no expert at working out and I still do my best at times to find excuses to not work out. Thankfully Steven is a big encourager of me and he gives me the push to get my butt out the door when he knows I need to. I have had several people ask what I am doing and how often I work out now. I want to start with when I workout. Pretty much when I can find time and my kids are asleep, most of the time. Having one set exact schedule for some things is great, but if you have a a spouse, kids, friends, family, a job, a life at all you are going to have to alter your schedule and work around things to make working out a part of your life. You are going to be able to find excuses not to do it. But finding time and getting your butt in gear is the first step. So find a time that works for you. And if that is in the morning some days and at night others, then do it. At least you are doing something.

So on to how I work out. When I started I was just walking. We would walk and walk and walk everyday. Typically the goal was to walk 30 minutes a day. Eventually I started doing Jillian Micheal's 30 day shred a few times a week. Then we started jogging during some of our walks, and I added in JIllian Micheal's kickboxing. And a few weeks ago I got the chance to join a bootcamp at my neighbor's once a week. I have gradually increased what I do and how often I do it. This has helped me keep motivated and keep going. It is easy to get bored with working out if you are doing the same thing everyday, so I would encourage people to try different things. If you are just beginning to work out and thinking that walking is the best place to start, then try just varying your route, or going a little farther each day. If you do work out videos or can get to the gym try different things that interest you. Get involved in different activities. You will start to feel better like you can do more but you have to get yourself started.

Right now I am walking 6 - 7 days a week, running 2-3 times a week, doing a workout video 2-3 times a week and doing a bootcamp workout 1 time a week. Wow that sounds like a lot more when I write it down. 8 months ago I didn't think I would ever be able to workout more than once a week. And I never thought I'd be able run a mile. But I can. It has not been an easy road though.

If you are like me you want to be able to see how often you are working out and what you are doing. So a couple months ago I got a big teacher calendar to be able to write down how many miles we are walking and how often I am working out. It has also turned into a master calendar for our family. I also write down our goals for the month. How many miles we want to walk and how many separate work outs I want to do. This month we want to walk 50 miles and I want to do 20 work outs. Hopefully that will help put me closer to losing the 8lbs I have left for the year :)

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Getting Ready for Halloween!

Halloween isn't my favorite holiday, I'm more of a Christmas girl. But I do think it's a fun time to dress up and the kids get candy, and the parents sneak a little. I love to see all the little kids dressed in their adorable costumes and I'm excited that Mady is a little more excited about Halloween this year and getting the whole concept a little more. She was very excited to pick out her costume, which she ended up choosing Minnie Mouse, kind of a surprise after she talked about a princess crown for like a month. We have yet ot find one for Brynn yet. They had none in her size that I liked, but there is still lots of time, so I'm not worried.

Something different here in San Diego that I don't think I had ever really seen or noticed I guess is people decorating for Halloween. I remember people putting out some little things in Indiana and Texas, but nothing like people here. They really get into it. So we decided to join the Halloween decorating trend last year, nothing big, but we did get some things. It's fun for the girls to help with.

This year I decided to get a little crafty and try out making a wreath for our door. It was ambitious for me, because I've never done it at all. It didn't end up being exactly what I thought it would but I do think it is really cute.  I got the idea from Pretty Dity who made an adorable one and I thought I could do soemthing similar.  It's just a straw wreath (still wrapped in plastic), with yarn wrapped around it, and then decorated.  It was not hard to do or that expensive, the part that took the longest was wrapping it in yarn.  I knew I was only goign to do one color, because I would get obssesive about making sure each color had the same amount of yarn and that would start to annoy me.  So anyways, here it turned out.  What do you think?



This weekend we also went to a pumpkin patch, which really was more like a mini fair.  They had food stands, face painting, a hay ride, a straw maze, tons of stuff.  The girls loved it!  We had lots of fun and found pumpkins for both girls. And Steven got to try his first funnel cake, so it was a great day for all of us.  

Thursday, October 4, 2012

It will hurt!

  

I saw this yesterday on Facebook and couldn't help but think of how true it is.  I have seen it before floating around Pinterest and such, but I really understand it now.  Having and meeting a goal is hard.  If you want to lose weight, get yourself in shape, meet a physical goal it is likely that at some point it is going to hurt.  Literally you may injure yourself., but also it is going to hurt you a little to say no to things sometimes.  And you are not going to wake up one morning and have lost 15lbs or be able to run a marathon.  You have to make changes to your life to see the results that you want.  Any pill or things like that, which tell you you don't have to make changes to your eating or exercise routine to lose weight or change your body is a lie and probably extremely unhealthy for you.  Don't do it.  Anyways, I like this quote because it's true.  Because it's hard.  People often ask me how I have lost weight and made the changes and while I can tell you how I eat a lot more vegetables and fruit and cut back on my total calories.  Or how I get up early to workout before my kids are awake, that really is just half of it.  You also have to make sacrifices, you have to dedicate yourself to your own health, you have to have the willpower to keep going even when you can't see the results right away.  You have to make healthy decisions.  

I will not lie and tell you that it is easy to do this.  It's not.  But it's also not the hardest thing I've ever done.  On days when it seems to be too hard sometimes I think of the hardest thing I've ever done.  It is extremely hard for me to talk about even 2 1/2 years later, but the hardest thing I have ever done is tell my husband that his brother was killed in Afghanistan, over the phone, while he was also deployed.  I am not looking for your pity.  While it is still hard for me to talk about I have found strength in Geoff's death and the obstacles that we have overcome since then.  I am able to think of the moment my parent's sat me down and told me what had happened or when Steven called and I had to put aside my sorrow and be strong for my husband.  I think of those moments on the days when I think I can't exercise or run farther or I want to give this all up.  While it may make me sad I am also able to  remember the strength I had in those moments and remind myself that I have that strength still in there.  This is easy in comparison.  

So I encourage you to find your own strength.  Think of the moments that you have overcome a huge obstacle or been stronger than you think you can, then use that strength that's in you.  II promise when you finally meet a goal, you will feel strong.  And all the sacrifice will be worth it.  

And today I have lost 70lbs!!!  Yay!!!  Just 10 more to my next big goal!!

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

I DID IT!! One Goal Down!!

Yesterday afternoon was hectic around here. You know those days where you are just ready for it to be over. When you just want to take a few minutes to yourself. Normally I would have told Steven that before dinner I was going to go for a run, but it was hot and we had to run an errand, so that wasn't going to work out. So I had to go ahead and wait till after the girls were in bed. This was the first time I was going to run after dark, not that I am scared or anything, I just usually don't. But I needed to. I needed to get my frustrations of the day out.

So I walked over to a park area near our house where a baseball team was practicing, so there were lights and I ran around the outside of the second field. I began by promising myself I would run around it once (I had no idea how far it was), then I realized as I was getting back to the beginning that I could do it again. So I did it twice, no stopping, but I knew I could do more. Soon I was on my 5th time around wondering how far I had gone feeling like that was it I couldn't run any farther without walking a little. I knew it was farther than I had ever run without stopping, but I still didn't know how far. So I pulled my phone out of my bra (yes I know I should get one of those arm bands or something) and saw that I was at .79miles. I was surprised I had gone that far, and it just made me all that more determined to finish out and run a mile. So I kept on myself and I kept running and running. And the next thing I knew I heard the 1 mile mark!! I ran a whole mile without stopping!!! I was so excited!! And the funny thing is I started to walk for about half a block and decided I wanted to run more! So I ran a couple more blocks and headed home.

I was and still am very proud of myself. I didn't think I was going to be able to run a whole mile without stopping until I had lost a lot more weight. I know there are some people who could not run at all and go out and just run a mile and do it faster than I did. But that has never been me. I am not a runner. But I proved to myself last night that I can do it. My time was not fast. It took 12:30 which is not fast. It actually is the same amount of time it takes me to walk and run it combined. But I ran the whole thing. I didn't let myself stop. And you should know that before last night the longest I had run without stopping was just over 1/4 mile. And now that I know I can do it, I am excited to work on getting my time faster!

You may be wondering what would keep you motivated? Well honestly I kept thinking about how I just wanted to go farther than I had before. Then I kept telling myself that it was be awesome to be able to walk in the door and tell Steven that I had finally accomplished one of my goals. I even thought about the show Extreme Makeover: Weigh loss edition. I love that show (I dislike the Biggest Loser). And one thing that I notice everytime I watch that show is that the trainer, Chris, pushes the people to go beyond what they think they can do. Which you should do each time you work out, but this time I kept thinking about one of the men who weighed 400+ lbs and he made him run and run, and just kept telling him to move his legs. No matter how fast he was going he was to keep his legs moving. I knew that if a man who weighs hundreds of pounds more than me could keep his legs moving and run, I could too.

So I am proud myself today. I didn't think I would be able to run that far and I did. It also gives me motivation to find a race to sign up for. I do not expect to win or anything, but I would love to try sometime. I challenge you to keep trying for that goal you don't think you can reach. Give it your all and see what happens.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Pumpkin decorating for toddlers

Well my craftiness attempts are in full swing this week. We went to Micheals on Sunday and spent more than expected, but this project was a pretty cheap one and can be reused many times. I took my inspiration for this from a post I have seen many times and thought was really cool on pinterest. It is the felt Christmas Tree that you can redecorate over and over.  I thought it was really adorable and I know at Christmas I want to give it a try, but I started to think why couldn't I do something like that for Halloween too.  So I did!  And it's super easy and cheap.

I decided I would make felt pumpkins with different eyes and noses and mouths.  It is definitely an easier way for the girls to get to decorate pumpkins than actual pumpkins.  So I picked up Orange, Green, and Black felt from Micheals.  I knew I wanted to make 4 pumpkins so I could have a couple extra, because let's face it with toddlers things get destroyed often in our house.  On Sunday night I cut out the pumpkins and decorations for them, along with some leaves and vines. It took me maybe an hour, because I cut out lots of differnt faces.  But I figured they are mix and match so the girls will get lots of uses out of them.  I did decide to get googly eyes to put on some, because they are fun, and were pretty cheap.  And after playing around with it, I found that it would be best if the pumpkins had some sort of packing to make them a little harder.  So I searched the house to figure out what to use, and I found file folders.  They are hard enough to make them a little tougher, but they are still flexible and easy to use and store.

Yesterday I gave the girls the chance to try out their new pumpkins and Mady loved them. Brynn liked it okay, but still is a little young to understand what to do. It didn't keep Mady occupied for hours or anything, but about 20 minutes, and she said she wanted to do it again. So I am happy about how it turned out. Oh and I mentioned that it is cheap. Here is how much we spent on this.
Felt - .30 each * 10 pieces = $3
Googly eyes - $1
Hot Glue Gun - Had it
File Folders - Had them (if you don't have a box, it's worth picking some up just to have some around)
Total Cost - $4.00 and could be less if you use less felt and no silly eyes.

I am also working on a second project right now. A Halloween wreath, well a double wreath actually. I finished one part, and I am working on the second. Hopefully I finish it this week and it turns out as cute as I want. I guess we'll have to wait and see!

Monday, October 1, 2012

September Progress

Good Morning! It is October! Can you believe it!? Where did this year go?? My mom always told me that time went faster when you had kids, and she was right. This year has flown by and I can't believe we are starting to talk about the holiday season.

September here was a busy and crazy month. We were in Indiana for a good chunk of it which helped the time go rather quickly. Brynn turned 1! And my baby brother got married! It was such a great trip seeing so many family and friends. We had a wonderful time.

When we got back I was pretty sure things would calm down, they didn't. Ants, a leak, half wall replaced, ants still, and an ear infection all effected our last week of September. But none of that will stop us, although the illness will slow us down. But no complaints, because the truth is, it could always be worse. Everyone has those weeks where things just don't go as expected and that's what happened to us. No big deal. As we were dealing with an overly cranky and sick Mady this weekend, I couldn't help but think it could be much worse. She has an ear infection, that's all. There are kids out there dealing with much worse and parent's taking care of those children not knowing when or if they will ever get better. I know that we will have another few rough days, but things should get better soon. We are lucky.

As far as my weight loss and excercise progress go, this month was pretty good. I lost 9lbs, which was pretty unexpected, this past week at home was rough and I didn't lose any, but overall for the month I did great. Just 11.5lbs left to lose to meet my end of the year goal. Exercise wise was okay. Nothing great, but I did do some working out. I am hoping to see bigger strides this month toward my running goals. I did get up and workout this morning, which is a great way to start the day, week and month for me. And it was fun, even though I am still hurting from the bootcamp workout I did with a group of ladies on Friday. My neighbor Karla certainly knows how to kick your butt, in a good way.

Well I am excited for October and all that it will bring! I have even started to getting crafty for the month. I know, I know, crafting and I don't go well together, but I think I have found some simple Halloween/fall things that I can actually do. Enjoy some of the pictures from this month!