I haven't posted since the shootings in Connecticut on Friday. I have thought and even started posts in my head, but haven't been able to come up with the right words. The truth is though there are no right words. Nothing I write will bring back those children or teachers. Nothing I say will comfort those who are hurting most. But I don't want to just move on and pretend like this didn't happen. It did happen. It has made me cry and pray and cringe and worry for the world. I don't know why this happened. And I don't know how to stop it from happening again, I wish I did. I wish this didn't make me worry for my own children, who will one day be at a school just like the one in Newtown. I wish we all could live in peace. I wish children didn't have to see this kind of horror. I wish parent's didn't have to know this kind of pain. Yet they do.
My heart goes out to those children. Although they are dancing in Heaven now and free of any pain or worries, so maybe we should be happy for that fact. I feel for the parent's who are grieving the loss of their children. No parent should have to bury a child, especially one who has just started life, who can barely read and had no idea what kind of evil could be in this world. I feel for the brothers and sisters who may have been in the school, and heard the shots, and could do nothing to save their siblings. I feel for the other children who were there, and had to see horrible things that no grown adult and definitely no child should have to see or hear. I feel for the first responders who probably can't sleep and keep reseeing the scene over in their head. Who went home and thanked God it wasn't their child they found in the school. I feel for everyone touched and effected by this.
I also want to write a bit about the teachers and school staff. They were the heroes in this story. I've read about the ones who put their kids in cabinets and closets and bathrooms and kept their children safe. The kids that have come to love. The kids in their rooms may not have been their own blood children, but these teachers loved and protected them like they were. Some gave their life doing it, just as any parent would. One story I read was about a teacher who hid her class in a bathroom and told them she loved them, because she thought that is what they should hear and know if they are going to die. They ended up surviving, but I couldn't help but be so moved by that. She knew and thought of these children and what their parent's would want. I don't care what the situation is, if something horrific is about to happen to my child I would want them to hear they are loved.
This horrible situation has made me think of my own teachers from years ago. The ones who I know without a doubt would have stood in front of a bullet for all their kids. The ones who would have done what they could to stop someone from harming us. I am thankful we never had a horrific incident, but I am also thankful for those teachers who I know would have been there. My 4th grade teacher Mrs. McClintock is the first to come to mind, and I know she would have been there hiding us and getting us to safety. I also think of my friends now who are teachers. I know that Monday morning they walked into their classrooms and looked around with special attention. They made a plan in their head what they would do, where they could hide kids, if they could get kids out the windows, what could be used as protection. Mentally they tried to prepare themselves for if it was their school, their kids.
I am thankful that their are teachers and school staff out there that love their children and school enough to be heroes and stand up to people who want to hurt or terrorize their school. Thank you to those who don't get paid enough to care and love, but you still do. Thank you for making it a little safer for all the kids you can.
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