Away from home, but I can still do this!

Well we are in Indiana at my parent's house. The girls and I got in last night, thankfully my mom flew to San Diego to help me get the girls here. I don't think I could have done it without her.

Well one thing I want to make sure I do while I am away from home is keep up with all the progress I have made. I don't want to put on weight just because I'm out of my norm. So I am keeping myself in check. This morning I got up and went for a run. It was not a good run. I got tired extremely fast. I didn't realize how much the change in location, temperature, everything wod effect me. Breathing felt harder, I was chilly, and it doesn't help that I ran first thing in the morning and that just is not when I normally run and just not my best time of day. I can workout first thing, but I'm just too stiff to try to run right after getting up. And yes I stretch.

When it comes to eating I am going to try really really hard to stay on track. At the same time though, I am not going to skip out on things because of food. So I will practice self control. Thankfully my parents eat lots of fruits and veggies and healthy foods, so I am good at their house. It may be challenging at times, but knowing that I so close to my revised wedding goal of 60lbs lost, I am very motivated!

And ready to do some shopping! My mom has mentioned a few times that my clothes don't fit. May be time to get more fitting jeans...

Marking Progress and Nerves

When you are losing weight or even just toning your body or trying to change anything about yourself, it can be hard to see the progress in yourself. You see yourself everyday and the chanegs are small, so at times you just don't see it. When you look at pictures side by side it is a good way to see the changes in yourself, but for me one of the best ways has been to put on old clothes. Some clothes that I have fit better now, and look great, others though are way too big. Sometimes it is fun to put on clothes and see they are too big. Other times it is a pain though. Right now it is kind of a pain. In San Diego I can just wear jeans a tank top most days and be okay. But we are going to Indiana in just a couple days and I think I am going to need a little something more. Shopping may be in order. Darn.

Anyways, back to my original thoughts. One way that I have found is a good way to see the changes in your whole body is to try on a dress. I have chosen to use my wedding dress to see progress. I only put it on every so often, just when I want to see some change and remind myself that this is working. So this morning I put on my wedding dress and I was shocked to se that to pull it tight I had about 2-3 inches of fabric in my hand. That is some change. I wish I had taken measurements at the beginning of this process, but I didn't, so dresses are the best way for me to see the progress outside of numbers on a scale.

I am hoping that other people can see the progress that maybe I don't see immediately. Steven says he can but let's be honest, he's my husband, he has to say that, and I love him for it. This is making me a little nervous for my trip to Indiana. I can't help but wonder, maybe it is just the pictures, like I am getting a good angle or something. I have now lost 58lbs, but I am still a big girl. It's not like I have lost 58lbs and am now a size 0. I'll never be a 0, and that's okay. I think I am just nervous because I have never talked about trying to lose weight either. So all my nerves are a little bundle right now in my tummy. To top it off, I am not a great flyer and this is Brynn's first plane trip and Mady's first in over a year, so I have some anxiety. Thankfully my mom is coming in to help me fly back with the girls. I have told everyone that I'd be fine doing it myself and I would be, but I am very relieved that my mom will be there to help. Steven has to hang around here for an exam, but will be there just in time for Brynn's 1st Birthday!!

Trying on my wedding dress.  I tried to get a good picture, but the angle was all weird.  And sorry for the pink bra, I am in need of a new strapless.  

Where did the time go!!

I am super excited to be going to Indiana soon, can you tell I bring it up a lot.  Anyways, I have had a big list of things to get done all ready for a while and I have stayed on top of things for the most part, but what in the world happened to this week??  Where did it go??  It's Friday and I feel like I have gotten zero done this week.  Do you ever have those weeks?  I did get some things done, but all the sudden I feel a little overwhelmed.  So the plan for today is to get lots done.  I am trying my best to not do much cleaning and such this weekend, for 2 reasons.  1. for some reason even though there are 2 parents home on the weekend, my house gets 10 times messier it seems.  2.  And since Steven isn't going with us right away I want to get to have some fun before we leave.

So this morning I have to set out to prioritize my list.  The garage probably doesn't need to be cleaned before we leave and the girls' closets probably don't need a complete overhaul.  Why do I do this though.  Anytime I am about to go on a trip I come up with this list of things that magically need to get done now, because i have a deadline.  Why not just do it another time when I don't have that pressure.  It's because I like the pressure.  Even in school I always wrote my best papers at the last minute.  So I'll spend today and Monday getting tons done, hopefully, and then be shocked it all got done.  It's what I do.

On a good note, for the past 2 weeks once a week I have been going on and running/walking a mile.  I still can't run a whole mile, but that's okay because I decided I would go out just once a week and do just a mile.  Well I do a short warm up walk and cool down walk, but the goal is to do a mile as fast as i can with as much running as I can.  Last week when I did this it took me 12:40 to get it done.  Honestly I was surprised with myself.  My goal was for it to be under 15 minutes, so I was happy with a 12:40.  This week it was 10:40.  2 minutes faster!  That may not be fast to many people , but it is faster than I did the mile run in school.  At any age.  Yay!  I am now convinced though that my gps is off and that it wasn't possibly a whole mile.  I should think positive though, I'm sure it was a mile. I think...I may have to do it again this weekend just to check.

Brotherly and Sisterly Love

It has been about 8 years since I lived in the same city as any of my family for longer than a semester.  The first 3 1/2 years I was in college just 3 hours away from most of family, so not bad.  Little did I know that in January 2008 when I moved to Texas for what was supposed to be just a 10 week internship, I would never move back closer to family.  For now at least.  I love being a Navy wife, but one tough part is being far from family and for us, knowing the possibility of moving closer in the foreseen future is slim, is hard.  Let's be honest though, distance from family and certain situations is nice sometimes though.  And I fully believe that having some distance from your family when you are first married is a blessing in disguise.  You are truly given the opportunity to rely on your spouse and have time for each other.  Just my feelings on it.

Anyways, back to what I was originally going to write.  Living so far from family for so long has made me feel something that when I was younger I am pretty sure I said I would never feel.  I miss my brothers.  I have 2 brothers, Andy is the older one, he is married to Hillary and our little niece Lily who is just a few weeks younger than our Madelynn.  And Nick is younger and getting ready to marry Kristen.  We had the typical sibling relationship when growing up.  We fought and bickered, but still played and did stuff together.  I never thought I would miss them when we all lived together. But now that I see them on rare occasion, I do miss them.  I miss being at family dinners and making fun of each other, messing around, telling stories.  I look forward to seeing them while we are there for the wedding.  I am excited to hang out and have the 3 girls all play together.

Like I mentioned, I also have a sister-in-law Hillary and about to sister-in-law Kristen.  They are both wonderful!  Andy and Hillary have been married about 9 years now, and she has been such a  great addition to our family.  She somehow puts up with Andy, and is still happy and loving all the time.  Kristen and Nick started dating in high school and then through college.  Kristen is wonderful and fun, and I can't imagine anyone else being added to our family.  I still remember Nick using pizza rolls (I think), the spell out Girlfriend when he was asking her out.  It was as cute as it sounds.  I am blessed to consider them my sisters now.

When I married Steven I also gained a brother-in-law Geoff, who was a wonderful and caring man who I miss so much.  Geoff was KIA in Afghanistan in January 2010.  He was funny and protective of me.  When Steven was deployed I ended up with some high school kids who would call me obsessively and either say random stuff or leave random messages.  It was ridiculous.  I told Geoff about it one day, he asked for the number.  I never heard from the kids again.  Just thinking about that conversation makes me laugh.  He liked for people to think he was all tough, but when you got down to it, he was a softy.

I miss my family, but we are lucky to have made Navy family.  It's the people that we spend holidays and special events with, because money and days off don't grow from trees. Unfortunately for us, even they move away, it's the curse of military life.  We miss those who have moved away, but make new friends and adopted family.  And we hope that the others move back (Corbin, Butts, and Adduce families, feel free to move back anytime).

Geoff and I, the last time we got to see each other.

Nick and Kristen with Mady before they left from their visit last summer

Nick, Andy and Hillary Christmas 2008. 

Simple Tips on Weight Loss and Life

So I have read and gotten tons and tons of tips throughout this year on how to boost your metabolism, how to lose more weight, what exercises to do, and on and on. I tried many and want to share the ones that work and I like. So here goes...

1. Use smaller plates. It sounds silly, but it works. You can put a smaller amount of food on a smaller plate and it convinces your brain it's a full plate of food. It helps you feel like you've ate more food than you have.

2. When you have a sandwich, try just one piece of bread. Preferably wheat bread too, it's better for you. And With just one piece of bread or bun you can taste the meat or whatever you have on the sandwich better.

3. Drink water all the time. Before you eat anything, drink a glass of water. Before you work out, before you go to sleep, first thing in the morning drink water. Just lots of water. It helps your stomach be a little more full and hydration is key in life. It also helps reduce water weight!

4. Now this one may not work for everyone, but I find it helpful for myself. Ignore the rule not to eat after 7 or 8 or whatever time. Well kind of ignore it. I try to have something very small every night at like 9ish. When I say small, I mean like 2 crackers, a couple chocolate covered almonds (the ones from Trader Joe's are delicious), usually less than 100 calories. Why, because then before bed it can help get my metabolism going again. Once again, this works for me, but may not work for everyone.

5. Have a little of something if you really want it. It's okay to have a small brownie or a cookie. It's not going to kill you and you will feel better. If you are at a birthday party, have a little cake. It's not the end of the world. And if you do have a little too much, try not to give yourself too hard a time.

It is great to find all kinds of weight loss and exercise tips. Some are helpful, some are not. Try them out for yourself and see what works. Keep the ones you like and work for you and Dump the ones that don't.

Randomness about our Routine and Indiana

I have mentioned before that I love organization, another thing I love is a loose schedule. I think of my day as having more of a routine. Our daily routine is something like this.
7:15 - 7:45 Girls wake up
8:00 Breakfast
10:00 Morning snack
12:00 Lunch
1:00 - 3:00 Nap (2 hours on a good day)
3:00 Afternoon Snack
5:30 - 6:00 Dinner
6:30 Walk
7:20 Bath
7:45 - 8:00 Bedtime

This is a typical routine in our house. I like our routine. The girls like knowing what is coming next. Everyone is happy with the routine. Although let's be honest, there are many days where things don't go exactly like this. Times get thrown off, nap gets pushed back, and that's okay. Things happen. Part of being a Stay at home mom is learning to roll with a lot of craziness in your day. Some days are not going to be perfect. There are going to be days you are ready to throw in the towel, but inevitably about that time during the day your kids do something absolutely adorable and you are reminded why you stay home.

Anyways, why talk about our routine, well our routine is going to thrown off soon. We leave for Indiana in 8 days and all the sudden I am starting to get nervous about my whole routine being off. Nervous isn't the right word. But I don't know what is. I am hopeful that the girls will adapt to the time change quickly. A 3 hour difference isn't the worst it could be, so that's good. Unfortunately last time we were there Mady had trouble adapting. Luckily though this time I know a bit better how to help them.

This will be Brynn's first airplane flight. Her first trip to Indiana, her first time meeting most of my family, her first time spending a night outside of our house. I have faith that she will be great. Well I hope so at least.

I am anxious to visit Fort Wayne. It's been about 14 months since I have been back. That's the longest I have gone without visiting. The last time we were there Mady was not yet 1 and I was pregnant. This time Mady is 2 and a spit fire and Brynn will have her first birthday. It's crazy how life changes so quickly.

I am going to try my best to see many people while we are there. I don't stay in close touch with many people from Fort Wayne, but I'd love to catch up. So if you are in Fort Wayne and want to hang out do coffee, take the kids out somewhere, let me know! I am up for anything! Well provided naps and bedtime do happen eventually...

Overcoming the hardest part

I was recently asked to answer some questions for another blog that a friend of mine is starting. None of the questions seemed that difficult, but one did end up taking a little more thought. "What have been your hardest struggles throughout this journey?"

In the beginning I thought it would be very difficult to change what I ate and start working out. I thought I would struggle with wanting the wrong foods all the time. In the beginning it was tough to eat less and figure out foods that would truly fill me up, but now that I've been doing it for a while I find that my body no longer craves, McDonald's or bad for you foods (okay occasionally I crave pizza). Thankfully I have also been able to adjust my foods and if I am craving something too badly and can't find a healthy alternative to it I can have a little and I will satisfy the craving and be good for a while.

I also have found that my body craves exercise. I want to feel good. I want to energy for the day. So I want to get up and workout. We recently got a kickboxing DVD and I am loving it. It is hard, but I want to do it. I want to be able to get up and feel good and sweat. I thought finding the time to workout would be a problem too, but I have found that since I am dedicated to this, I make the time. I get up early. Steven will workout with me sometimes, so I don't feel like we are missing time together. I have found ways to make the time. If you really want to do it, you will make the time.

So what has been the hardest part? I sat and thought and thought. I finally figured it out. The hardest part of it all was overcoming myself. It was telling myself that I could do it, on days that I thought I couldn't. That is still a struggle. There are days when I think there is no way I am possibly going to lose another pound. That this is it. I can't do anymore. But I can. And some days it just takes finding that little voice in myself reminding you that you can work harder, that you can be better. It is hard. But you have to push past your own self doubt and do it.

I have always thought of myself as the fat girl. I was always confident in that I was good in school and at work, but I always struggled with that feeling of being that fat girl. It is difficult to push past those thoughts and tell yourself that you are not defined by that. That you can be someone else. You have to put those feelings aside that you have some kind of label and become the person that you want to be. The funny thing is, most people do not see you as the label you have given yourself. It is internal. Something you have to overcome. And it is hard, but you can do it. I have. I am a mom, a wife, a daughter, a sister, a friend and a woman who wants to be the best she can. But no matter what weight I am I refuse to be that fat girl to myself anymore.