Wednesday, July 9, 2014

PIcking and Choosing

So I admit it, I promised 2 months ago to be better about blogging and well I haven't been.  But I will try again.  I promise.  We'll see...

So tomorrow or in a couple days I will do an update on where I am with getting back in shape after Hank, but for now I have had a blog on my head all day that I want to get out.  Maybe it will help someone, or at least bring you temporary amusement.

One thing my mom always told me growing up was "Pick and choose your battles."  This pertains to many things in life.  In my life right now, and probably in the life of many, it directly relates to kids.  Do you know how many battles there are with kids??  A lot.  A whole lot.  Every little things could be a battle if you wanted.  But part of being a good parent is choosing only the important battles.  I was reminded of this just this morning when we were getting ready to go to Costco.  I asked the girls to get their shoes.  Not kidding this can be a 10 minute process sometimes.  But today they both went to the closet right away, and Brynn pulled out 2 different flip flops (one of her things recently) and asked if it was okay.  I could have said no and dealt with crying and whining or I could let her.  She was not hurting anyone, breaking any rules, or effecting anyone else really, so why say no.  So I let her, and Mady wear mismatched flip flops of their choosing.  This is also the reason I let Mady pick her own clothes, I do check for weather approriateness.  I mean really will it hurt anyone if she wears a dress every single day.  Or if their shorts and shirt don't match.  Nope.  But it will give them a sense of indpendence and pride knowing they were able to do something themselves.  Clothes and shoes are a battle I don't choose, most of the time.  Family pictures and special occassions I have a bit more say.

On the other hand though we do choose to fight other battles.  Brynn recently has decided to start acting very defiant at times.  We will make a small request and give two choices.  Her favorite answer is no to both choices.  It can even be simple.  If you have ever had a 2 year old I know you can relate to this.  At some point today Brynn broke a hanger, on accident.  I was not upset but asked her to take the hanger to the trash.  She refused, of course.  So I gave her the choice, hanger to the trash or you go to your room (she had been acting out before this and was already being denied a snack).  Her answer was no. This led to me carrying her screaming up to her room.  We did not yell or get upset.  The broken hanger came with her to her room and she could decide when she was ready to be done throwing her fit and throw the hanger away.  This is how we choose to handle these situations, everyone has their own method.  A few minutes later (minutes full of screaming and tears full meltdown style), she came downstairs hanger in hand and threw it away.  It seems silly,  I could have thrown the hanger away.  I could have done it and it would have been over.  But the battle wasn't about the hanger it was obeying.  We choose to the battles to obey.  We want our kids to understand they have to listen and obey.  Even if it means that they don't like us at times.

There are always battles in life.  Always things that you can choose to fight.  You have to make the decision what battles are worth your time and energy.  If you choose too many or all of them you are going to get run down and be unhappy in life.  PIck the important ones and stick to your guns.  

Proof of the mismatched shoes, and Hank's no shoes :)


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