So today we went to a birthday party for a very special and adorable little man who turned 1. It meant us driving a couple hours north closer to LA. When you don't have kids driving a couple hours seems like nothing, but when you do, well it requires a big bag with snacks, changes if clothes, toys for entertainment, and several rounds of no we aren't quite there yet. Our kids actually did way better than we thought they would on the car ride there and back. 2 years ago when Brynn was about Hank's age, we never would have gone. Not because we didn't want to, but because we thought it would be hard, or the kids would cry in the car or someone would have an accident. Lame I know. So that made me start thinking on the way back about the things that I do now, or want to do now, that I didn't in the past.
There are different reasons I didn't used to do things or even attempt and some are valid, but others, not so much.
For example, I have not bungee jumped. Reason: No part of me wants to at all. At all. Zero. I feel this is valid.
There are things in life I just plain don't want to do, and honestly feel that it is either better that I don't do them at all or will not effect me. So my not wanting to do it is fine. Now I also don't want to put the dishes away, but this would lead to a whole pile of dishes in the sink that would drive me nuts and then I'd be on edge with everyone and cranky. So although I may not want to, it is in the best interest of everyone if I suck it up and put the dishes away.
Other things I actually have wanted to do, but decided I had an excuse not to. For example I have been wanting to run a 5k. But I haven't, why? I didn't want to put in the work to be able to do it, because I was afraid of failing. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to do it. Isn't that lame? I think there are things we all decide not to do out fear of failure. That fear was part of the reason it took me so long to start losing weight, but once I decided I was stronger than that fear, and actually took it head on, I got past it.
So I am going to challenge myself to do more things I may have put off doing or would have been to scared to do. I am working on a list of things, but a few things are running a 5k (actually running the whole thing), doing a Spartan race (Steven and I hope to do this together next year), and stepping out to meet new people.
The meeting new people and stepping out is something Steven and I have both been working on. When I was in Indiana my parents and I took the girls to church nearly every week and that helped us see how important it is to us that the kids grow up in the church. So we found a church we like here and both of us have joined life groups to help us meet new people and get out a bit more. Now that I think about it, I think I was scared to meet new people too. Scared they wouldn't like me or accept me, or they would judge me. But the truth is, I genuinely believe that most people (yes there are some bad apples out there) want to like the people they meet. Most people want to make friends and be kind.
So I will work on my list of things I want to do that I had too many excuses for in the past. Hopefully I can start challenging myself.
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