Comfortable

Well it has been a little longer since I last posted. This is good in part for me because it means Hank hasn't been up quite as much at night. Or for quite as long at least. So I am getting a little more sleep. I will admit I am ready for that first full night of sleep again. It will come in time though.  (As I write this Hank is looking up at me with wide eyes at 3:30am, that night will not be tonight)

I have made a realization lately. I am comfortable with myself. I think this is a good thing. For years I spent so long feeling uncomfortable. I wanted to hide because I didn't feel good about myself. I thought everyone looked at me and thought, "Oh look at the fat girl." When I finally started losing weight and had gotten down to a certain size I finally started to feel less self conscious and just in general happier with how I looked and felt. No, I have not reached my goal weight or size yet, but for right now, where I am in life, a preschooler, a toddler, and a breastfeeding baby, I am happy with where I'm at. I like the changes I have made and know that while it may be slower right now, I am still making progress. 

One thing that has continued to be shown to me recently is how important it is for my girls to see me being comfortable and happy with myself. They may only be 2.5 and 3.5 but they still pick up on and incredible amount. So it is important for then to see me eating healthy foods and working out, but also I fully believe they should see me have a cookie and pizza and understand it's okay to not eat perfect all the time, because your life can't be focused on perfect eating every minute. And I love when they see me squeezing in a daytime workout, but also want them to see me choose family over working out. Life can't be all about my eating and working out. 

Life is too short and precious to not enjoy your family and friends.