I am not a parenting expert. Mady isn't even 2 1/2 yet, so I definitely have things to learn still. A lot to learn actually. Just last night I text my mom and asked her if we became unbearable when we Mady's age. Her honest response was pretty much yes. We are in the midst of the terrible 2s. For those who haven't been through this yet, don't be scared, you will get through it. My mom recommends patience. I recommend a mommy time out in the bathroom with the door locked once daddy gets home. It's really not that bad. Promise. Kinda.
Anyways, want to know what your parents didn't tell you. They had no idea what they were doing. No parent really does. I have no idea what I am doing most days. Okay don't get me wrong, change diapers, make sure baby is fed and clean. I got that. There are basic things we all know to do. But a lot of the time, we are just guessing. How to punish a biter? Time out, a spanking, bite them back, take your guess with your child and hope it works. Even when you have a crying child and you think you know what they need, the truth is, you really are just guessing and praying that it stops the crying.
I will never forget holding my sweet newborn babies in my arms and looking at the nurse in the hospital as they said we could take them each home and thinking you have to be kidding me. I have no idea what I am doing. The first week with Madelynn after my mom left and Steven went back to work, I cried everyday. Mady cried, I cried. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with her. I remember one day looking at Steven and saying I don't know what's wrong with her. He then asked if she needed her diaper changed and I cried because I hadn't thought of that. I was a brand new mom with major nervousness. It got better with time, and by the time I had Brynn I didn't have nervous breakdowns daily, but I still didn't know what I was doing all the time. And I still don't. And I have accepted that I will spend the rest of my life as a mom who doesn't know what exactly I am doing. And that's okay. Just don't tell my kids. Ever. As far as I know, even though I don't know what I am doing, my mom still does. She always does.
Tuesday, November 13, 2012
Sunday, November 11, 2012
I don't want to do it
So last night Steven and completed our third week of Insanity. The great thing is we are enjoying it (for the most part) and we are starting to see results. Steven's arms are getting very buff and mine are getting smaller (thank goodness). Also I am seeing results in my tummy and legs, which is great. We have fun doing it, well fun maybe isn't the best word, but we do like it.
But last night, I didn't want to do it. I have never done an exercise program with a schedule, nor have I ever worked out 6 days a week, every week. And while I am enjoying it, it is getting tough to keep doing. Thankfully I have Steven to keep me motivated and we keep each other going. But honest to goodness last night I didn't want to do it. All I really wanted to do was sit on the couch and watch a movie with popcorn and junk food. I wanted to get french fries from McDonald's, a hot fudge sundae, oreos, and sit and eat and not think about the consequence or end up with the consequences. I could deal with the slight weight gain, but the not sleeping because I was having "intestinal issues" and feeling absolutely miserable I didn't want. So that plan was out. I still didn't want to workout though. I was coming up with every reason I could not to. I had just gotten my flu shot, I was feeling sad because my dad had left, I just didn't want to. But what I do want came first. I do want to stick to this program. I do want to continue to change my body. I do want to be encouraging to Steven.
So we worked out and I'd like to tell you afterwards I felt so much better and was happy I did. Now don't get me wrong I am happy I did it, but I was absolutely exhausted. My body was achy and hurting. So no, after you workout you don't always feel great. Mentally you can be proud, but physically sometimes you just wish you hadn't.
But I still did it. We finished the 3rd and we have a night off. And a night off is nice, but I still want to do it tomorrow. Sometimes I think I am a masochist.
I should probably add that after we worked out we sat on the couch, watched Captain America and had popcorn and low fat Oreos. So at least I got some of what I wanted.
But last night, I didn't want to do it. I have never done an exercise program with a schedule, nor have I ever worked out 6 days a week, every week. And while I am enjoying it, it is getting tough to keep doing. Thankfully I have Steven to keep me motivated and we keep each other going. But honest to goodness last night I didn't want to do it. All I really wanted to do was sit on the couch and watch a movie with popcorn and junk food. I wanted to get french fries from McDonald's, a hot fudge sundae, oreos, and sit and eat and not think about the consequence or end up with the consequences. I could deal with the slight weight gain, but the not sleeping because I was having "intestinal issues" and feeling absolutely miserable I didn't want. So that plan was out. I still didn't want to workout though. I was coming up with every reason I could not to. I had just gotten my flu shot, I was feeling sad because my dad had left, I just didn't want to. But what I do want came first. I do want to stick to this program. I do want to continue to change my body. I do want to be encouraging to Steven.
So we worked out and I'd like to tell you afterwards I felt so much better and was happy I did. Now don't get me wrong I am happy I did it, but I was absolutely exhausted. My body was achy and hurting. So no, after you workout you don't always feel great. Mentally you can be proud, but physically sometimes you just wish you hadn't.
But I still did it. We finished the 3rd and we have a night off. And a night off is nice, but I still want to do it tomorrow. Sometimes I think I am a masochist.
I should probably add that after we worked out we sat on the couch, watched Captain America and had popcorn and low fat Oreos. So at least I got some of what I wanted.
Thursday, November 8, 2012
The Breakfast Factor
Breakfast effects my whole day. I didn't realize this until recently. It really does though. If I have a good breakfast I am more likely to eat a good lunch and snack well which helps give me more energy and the ability to handle the stress of 2 toddlers better.
There are tons of benefits of having a good breakfast that I could mention, but really for me it effects my whole mood. If my breakfast ends up being a disappointment my whole day can suffer. I know it's sad that it can effect my day so much, but it does. This doesn't mean I have a huge breakfast all the time, sometimes honey nut Cheerios are all I want, it does mean though that yesterday when I warmed up my breakfast sandwich and it stunk, I was a bit moody and ate a granola bar instead, which just didn't fill me up and then I felt snacky all day because my lunch wasn't great and I felt like I ate poorly all day.
So what I'm saying is if you aren't used to a good breakfast try it. It could really make your day. And if you are thinking you don't have time, try making breakfast sandwiches ahead of time and freezing them. It's easy. Toasty some English muffins, scramble eggs, add cheese and cooked bacon, let cool, wrap in paper towel, put in ziplock bag, and freeze. Just warm for 1 to 2 minutest and you have a good breakfast. Watch how many calories are in your cheese and muffins and you can have a healthy one too.
So now I shall go make myself and the girls a good heathy breakfast and hope for a calm day. We'll see...
There are tons of benefits of having a good breakfast that I could mention, but really for me it effects my whole mood. If my breakfast ends up being a disappointment my whole day can suffer. I know it's sad that it can effect my day so much, but it does. This doesn't mean I have a huge breakfast all the time, sometimes honey nut Cheerios are all I want, it does mean though that yesterday when I warmed up my breakfast sandwich and it stunk, I was a bit moody and ate a granola bar instead, which just didn't fill me up and then I felt snacky all day because my lunch wasn't great and I felt like I ate poorly all day.
So what I'm saying is if you aren't used to a good breakfast try it. It could really make your day. And if you are thinking you don't have time, try making breakfast sandwiches ahead of time and freezing them. It's easy. Toasty some English muffins, scramble eggs, add cheese and cooked bacon, let cool, wrap in paper towel, put in ziplock bag, and freeze. Just warm for 1 to 2 minutest and you have a good breakfast. Watch how many calories are in your cheese and muffins and you can have a healthy one too.
So now I shall go make myself and the girls a good heathy breakfast and hope for a calm day. We'll see...
Monday, November 5, 2012
The complete and honest truth about my weight
I have recently been a little hard on myself. This is strange for me because I throughout the past 10 months I have been able to be positive and encouraging with myself even when I have gained a little weight or just stayed the same for a week. I have always been able to look at the scale and remind myself where I was when I started and I would be happy with my progress. This was until last week. Last week I gained a couple pounds and had a hard time taking them off and I was hard on myself. For the first time I wanted to give up and just say I was good with the progress I had made. It took me a few days to realize why this time it was so much harder.
So to explain this I have to reveal something I have not. My weight. I don't want to, but the reality is I promised myself I would be real on my blog and try to encourage people and show people that they too can do what I have. This means revealing even the hard things that I don't want to. So I will. Please know though that even as I type this I am nervous.
So this recent weight gain has been hard because I had finally reached a milestone that I was very proud of. Last weekend for the first time I reached a weight that started with a 1 not a 2. I had finally gotten below 200lbs. It was thrilling because I have been above that for so long. SO many years. Then the next day I was up a couple pounds. Back in the 200s. I didn't let that one day bother me too much, because that happens, but when it lasted almost all week, I was discouraged. Yet I was seeing results. I could tell that Insanity was changing my body and I am hopeful that I am gaining muscle. I have known for a long time that I could not just look at the scale for proof of my results, but the past week was the first time I really had to accept that. I think it was God's reality check for me. Like I was not going to get back under 200 until I could accept that my body is changing despite what the scale says. So i have an I can happily say that I got back down to where I want to be yesterday.
So I feel now like I should tell you all the real numbers. Okay, so my starting weight 10 months ago was 280lbs. I'm not proud of that, but that was not the highest I had ever been even. Since then I have lost 81lbs, making my weight now 199lbs. That probably sounds like a lot to many people still, but to me this is a HUGE accomplishment. I have lost 29% of my body weight from the beginning and brought my BMI down 12.6%. I started as morbidly obese and now am almost nearly in the overweight BMI category. I would still like to be in the healthy range of course, but to come as far as I have is amazing. My health has improved in many many ways and I am proud of how far I have come.
Some will criticize still because I still have a ways to go, but let's remember I have not done any fad diets, I have never starved myself, I eat right and exercise. I counted every calorie I ate for nearly 6 months, but now I can limit myself and eat the right way without having to do that (although on occasion I will for a day). I have had the support from all the people around me.
So now you know. You know how much I weigh. Even as I finish this I am wondering if I should post it, but I think I will. If it will help even one person see that they to can do it. Maybe I started higher than them, or maybe they are where I was, please know that you can do it if you want. Just a little effort will get the ball rolling.
So to explain this I have to reveal something I have not. My weight. I don't want to, but the reality is I promised myself I would be real on my blog and try to encourage people and show people that they too can do what I have. This means revealing even the hard things that I don't want to. So I will. Please know though that even as I type this I am nervous.
So this recent weight gain has been hard because I had finally reached a milestone that I was very proud of. Last weekend for the first time I reached a weight that started with a 1 not a 2. I had finally gotten below 200lbs. It was thrilling because I have been above that for so long. SO many years. Then the next day I was up a couple pounds. Back in the 200s. I didn't let that one day bother me too much, because that happens, but when it lasted almost all week, I was discouraged. Yet I was seeing results. I could tell that Insanity was changing my body and I am hopeful that I am gaining muscle. I have known for a long time that I could not just look at the scale for proof of my results, but the past week was the first time I really had to accept that. I think it was God's reality check for me. Like I was not going to get back under 200 until I could accept that my body is changing despite what the scale says. So i have an I can happily say that I got back down to where I want to be yesterday.
So I feel now like I should tell you all the real numbers. Okay, so my starting weight 10 months ago was 280lbs. I'm not proud of that, but that was not the highest I had ever been even. Since then I have lost 81lbs, making my weight now 199lbs. That probably sounds like a lot to many people still, but to me this is a HUGE accomplishment. I have lost 29% of my body weight from the beginning and brought my BMI down 12.6%. I started as morbidly obese and now am almost nearly in the overweight BMI category. I would still like to be in the healthy range of course, but to come as far as I have is amazing. My health has improved in many many ways and I am proud of how far I have come.
Some will criticize still because I still have a ways to go, but let's remember I have not done any fad diets, I have never starved myself, I eat right and exercise. I counted every calorie I ate for nearly 6 months, but now I can limit myself and eat the right way without having to do that (although on occasion I will for a day). I have had the support from all the people around me.
So now you know. You know how much I weigh. Even as I finish this I am wondering if I should post it, but I think I will. If it will help even one person see that they to can do it. Maybe I started higher than them, or maybe they are where I was, please know that you can do it if you want. Just a little effort will get the ball rolling.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
October Update
October was quite a month for us. We had lots of fun and I lost some weight. Some of the fun things we got to do were firsts for us. We got to go to our very first Airshow, where we saw the Blue Angels and many other Marine and Navy planes. We also learned that Mady likes airplanes when they are far away, but she is not a fan of how loud they are up close. We also all ended up with sunburns despite the sunscreen we used.
We also went to a pumpkin patch where we did a hay maze, had fair type food, picked out pumpkins and had lots of fun. A few weeks later we painted our pumpkins, which they loved!
Steven and I also got some separate time away from the kids. Steven went to a movie, I went shopping. We both felt reenergized afterwards.
One of the biggest things this month was we adopted a puppy! Her name is Oso (yes Mady helped picked the name). She is a collie lab mix and adorable. She is 4 months old and is turning into a great puppy for us. She is potty trained for the most part and we are working on leash training and keeping down on the barking and digging. We all love her.
As far as weight loss I am down 80lbs total now. This month I lost about 11lbs. I am happy to have hit my weight loss goal got before the end of the year, but a bit discouraged right now, I has been consistently losing weight and this week I keep bouncing up and down about 2lbs. I know it's normal, but it is tough, seeing as I have been eating well and we started the Insanity workout. I am trying not to get down about it though. It's just a few days and I think I have figured out what it is. I think I may not be eating enough. I know it sounds weird, but if you know anything about weight loss you know you have to eat and eat the right amount. So I'm wondering if maybe I am eating enough for a regular day, but not enough for how much I am working out. So I think I'll try to boost up my calorie intake and see what happens.
Anyways enough about that, November is a new month and we get to see my Dad and my in-laws this month which will be fun. Thanksgiving will be here soon and we will enjoy some good food and fun. So onto the Thanksgiving preparations!
We also went to a pumpkin patch where we did a hay maze, had fair type food, picked out pumpkins and had lots of fun. A few weeks later we painted our pumpkins, which they loved!
Steven and I also got some separate time away from the kids. Steven went to a movie, I went shopping. We both felt reenergized afterwards.
One of the biggest things this month was we adopted a puppy! Her name is Oso (yes Mady helped picked the name). She is a collie lab mix and adorable. She is 4 months old and is turning into a great puppy for us. She is potty trained for the most part and we are working on leash training and keeping down on the barking and digging. We all love her.
As far as weight loss I am down 80lbs total now. This month I lost about 11lbs. I am happy to have hit my weight loss goal got before the end of the year, but a bit discouraged right now, I has been consistently losing weight and this week I keep bouncing up and down about 2lbs. I know it's normal, but it is tough, seeing as I have been eating well and we started the Insanity workout. I am trying not to get down about it though. It's just a few days and I think I have figured out what it is. I think I may not be eating enough. I know it sounds weird, but if you know anything about weight loss you know you have to eat and eat the right amount. So I'm wondering if maybe I am eating enough for a regular day, but not enough for how much I am working out. So I think I'll try to boost up my calorie intake and see what happens.
Anyways enough about that, November is a new month and we get to see my Dad and my in-laws this month which will be fun. Thanksgiving will be here soon and we will enjoy some good food and fun. So onto the Thanksgiving preparations!
Monday, October 29, 2012
Getting a little Insane
Steven and I started Insanity last week. If you have not heard of the Insanity workout look it up. It's an intense type of interval training. It is the hardest workout I have ever done. After the warm up I am dripping sweat and there is still 20-30 minutes left in the workout. The harder 20-30 minutes. We have to take a lot of breaks, but we like it. The trainer Shaun T is intense but motivating. He constantly wants you to do more and work harder and even though he is on the TV somehow you want to do it. You want to do better and work harder to impress him, even though he can't see you.
And I have seen results even after just one week. I have been eating pretty much the same. Well actually after we work out (after the girls are in bed), I eat a little more. After some research I have learned that you need a combination of protein and simple carbohydrates after working out to properly replenish your body and maximize your results. Last week my snack of choice was 2 hard boiled egg whites and a strawberry fruit bar after working out. It worked for me. Gave me a little energy too. Oh and for results, I lost 5lbs. I was shocked. I haven't lost that much weight in one week since I started losing weight and lost primarily water weight. I don't expect that to continue (I wouldn't complain if it did though), but it is a great way to know that working this hard is doing something. Steven even said my legs are looking slimmer (an area that has refused to join the losing weight train).
So far it is great, and we are staying motivated. Doing it with Steven has helped tremendously. I want to spend the time with him, and we both want to improve our health. We keep each other motivated too. I know he wants to keep going and if I stop he may, so I keep going. And he knows the same about me. We do it and keep going for each other and ourselves.
And just a warning if you are wanting to start exercising and getting in shape, I would not start with Insanity. Get yourself into working out first, do some other DVDs, run, lift some weights or something, but know that this is intense and hard for even the people in the DVD. They all take breaks too. But also you don't have to be in perfect shape to do it. I am far from that but I can still do it, at my own pace.
And I have seen results even after just one week. I have been eating pretty much the same. Well actually after we work out (after the girls are in bed), I eat a little more. After some research I have learned that you need a combination of protein and simple carbohydrates after working out to properly replenish your body and maximize your results. Last week my snack of choice was 2 hard boiled egg whites and a strawberry fruit bar after working out. It worked for me. Gave me a little energy too. Oh and for results, I lost 5lbs. I was shocked. I haven't lost that much weight in one week since I started losing weight and lost primarily water weight. I don't expect that to continue (I wouldn't complain if it did though), but it is a great way to know that working this hard is doing something. Steven even said my legs are looking slimmer (an area that has refused to join the losing weight train).
So far it is great, and we are staying motivated. Doing it with Steven has helped tremendously. I want to spend the time with him, and we both want to improve our health. We keep each other motivated too. I know he wants to keep going and if I stop he may, so I keep going. And he knows the same about me. We do it and keep going for each other and ourselves.
And just a warning if you are wanting to start exercising and getting in shape, I would not start with Insanity. Get yourself into working out first, do some other DVDs, run, lift some weights or something, but know that this is intense and hard for even the people in the DVD. They all take breaks too. But also you don't have to be in perfect shape to do it. I am far from that but I can still do it, at my own pace.
Friday, October 26, 2012
The In Between and the Navy
The in between phase in anything seems to be the worst part. It's that time when you are waiting and usually cannot do anything. Ugh. It seems that's where Steven is at with the Navy right now. Okay not everything with the Navy, but 2 big things.
1. Exam results. For those who don't know to advance in the Navy you have to take an exam (or be capped, a different situation). It sounds easy, study hard, pass the exam. No that easy. Even if you pass the exam, you may still not make the next rank. There are a lot of number games played, and it gets complicated with extra points and whatnot. It's a bit ridiculously complicated if you ask me, but the Navy has never asked me. Anyways, Steven took the exam September 6, he should get the results toward the end of November. No this is not because of some mishap in the system, this is normal. They take the exam and then sit on pins and needles for 2+ months waiting for the results. It sucks. And I am convinced there is some person sitting in an office somewhere twiddling their thumbs and laughing because it seems to me there should be some kind of computer program that can have all the results ready much faster.
2. Orders. Every 3 or so years as and enlisted person in the Navy you choose new orders (or are assigned). The best way I can explain it to people who don't know the military life is to relate it to a huge company and every 3 years you are required to change jobs alternating between two different divisions (Sea and Shore). You have to apply for a few new jobs and hope the magical detailer decides you fit with the one you really want. They submit a Navy "resume" type document and different commands look at it and can make comments, but it seems that ultimately the detailer is the man. Anyways, there is a time frame you have that you can apply for these jobs. 7-9 months out from when you are to be leaving your current job. Right now Steven is 11 months out. Which means December time he will be choosing new orders. So we are waiting to see what this means for our family. Will we be moving? If so, where, in the US, or Japan? Will Steven be deployed constantly? What kind of ship will he be on? Will there be something that changes it all? There are a lot of what ifs that could be thought of, and ultimately we still have 2 months before we could have any idea of answers. (Once you apply for orders it takes time to find out if you got them or not of course)
The in between. The time where we wait. Wait to find out news. Wait to make decisions. Wait wait wait. It's the Navy way. Oh and please don't think this is complaining about the Navy. It's not. I love the Navy. I love being a Navy wife. I love the things the Navy has done for our family. It could be much much worse and we definitely realize that everyday. We thank God Steven has a job everyday.
1. Exam results. For those who don't know to advance in the Navy you have to take an exam (or be capped, a different situation). It sounds easy, study hard, pass the exam. No that easy. Even if you pass the exam, you may still not make the next rank. There are a lot of number games played, and it gets complicated with extra points and whatnot. It's a bit ridiculously complicated if you ask me, but the Navy has never asked me. Anyways, Steven took the exam September 6, he should get the results toward the end of November. No this is not because of some mishap in the system, this is normal. They take the exam and then sit on pins and needles for 2+ months waiting for the results. It sucks. And I am convinced there is some person sitting in an office somewhere twiddling their thumbs and laughing because it seems to me there should be some kind of computer program that can have all the results ready much faster.
2. Orders. Every 3 or so years as and enlisted person in the Navy you choose new orders (or are assigned). The best way I can explain it to people who don't know the military life is to relate it to a huge company and every 3 years you are required to change jobs alternating between two different divisions (Sea and Shore). You have to apply for a few new jobs and hope the magical detailer decides you fit with the one you really want. They submit a Navy "resume" type document and different commands look at it and can make comments, but it seems that ultimately the detailer is the man. Anyways, there is a time frame you have that you can apply for these jobs. 7-9 months out from when you are to be leaving your current job. Right now Steven is 11 months out. Which means December time he will be choosing new orders. So we are waiting to see what this means for our family. Will we be moving? If so, where, in the US, or Japan? Will Steven be deployed constantly? What kind of ship will he be on? Will there be something that changes it all? There are a lot of what ifs that could be thought of, and ultimately we still have 2 months before we could have any idea of answers. (Once you apply for orders it takes time to find out if you got them or not of course)
The in between. The time where we wait. Wait to find out news. Wait to make decisions. Wait wait wait. It's the Navy way. Oh and please don't think this is complaining about the Navy. It's not. I love the Navy. I love being a Navy wife. I love the things the Navy has done for our family. It could be much much worse and we definitely realize that everyday. We thank God Steven has a job everyday.
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