Still a bit of a Teeny Bopper

I can't think of anything too interesting to write today. I'm not sure why. So we'll see where this goes.

I have recently been listening to some different music than just country. It's good to branch out. I have discovered something about myself that I may be a little ashamed to admit. There is part of me that is still a teeny bopper. Yes when I heard One Direction (one of today's Backstreet Boys or *Nsync) I was excited. I like it. I kinda want to buy their CD. I know you can make fun of me, because I still buy CDs and because I like their music. But let's be honest, if you were once a teeny bopper, you will always be a teeny bopper.

Many of us now have real jobs, are married, have children, yet still admit it, when you heard that the Backstreet Boys were getting back together, you got excited. And when you heard that Justin Timberlake got married, you were a little sad. Because even if you are married with kids, you believed he was secretly just waiting for you.

For a while I was a little embarrassed to admit that, yes in my middle school early high school years I attended a Backstreet Boys, *Nsync, and 98 Degrees concert. Now I am proud. I was a teeny bopper. I had the posters, the CDs, the magazines, the whole shebang. I was invested in Justin and Brittney, and Nick and Jessica. I thought they would make it work. Laugh if you will, but I know there are others of you out there reading this thinking yes, I did the same thing.

So if you were like me, be happy to know that there are still boy bands out there (even if they aren't exactly referred to as that anymore). Because think about it, One Direction and the Jonas Brothers, the music still sounds a little familiar and makes you smile.

Offended

I am not someone who gets offended easily. I am pretty go with the flow laid back when it comes to jokes and comments made at my expense. But I was offended and kinda hurt recently by a comment made to Steven about me. I have worked my butt off to lose 75lbs. I have watched what I eat, I have worked out, I have done it the right way. At least the right way for me. But last week a coworker of Steven's made a comment that was mean and I haven't been able to shake it, so hopefully writing about it will help. If you work with Steven or know the guys that do the person that said it would not surprise you.

Anyways, Steven recently told a couple guys in his shop that I had lost 75lbs and that he was proud of me. One guy asked if I had done it the "right" way or if I had tried to use some quick fix thing. Steven said no that I had watched what I ate and worked out, and then showed him the before and after picture I posted after losing 50lbs. The guy's response was not your typical, good for her, or wow that's a difference, instead it was "You married her when she was that big." Who says that!! I mean really! I hate people like that. Has no one taught you that if you don't have anything nice to say then don't say anything at all. Especially to someone's husband. And no this is not a guy who is in great shape and I'm sure he has difficulty passing the Navy fitness tests. So who does he think he is to say something like that. And yes, my husband did marry me when I was that big and has loved me through all my weight ups and downs. Through pregnancy and horrible moments. He has loved me unconditionally because when you are married that what you do. He married me for me. He supports me. If I said right now I am done. I am not going to lose more weight. He would be fine with that. If I told him I was going to do something extreme and dangerous just to lose more weight he would tell me to stop, because he wants me to be healthy, not skinny.

And let me tell you this, even at my very heaviest when I was pregnant with Mady, when I weighed 120lbs more than I do right now, I still took care of myself. I still showered, did my hair, my makeup and didn't just give up. And yes my husband still loved me.

If you are trying to lose weight, please do not give these people the time of day. I hate that I have spent time even writing this. I don't want a person like this to have an effect on me, yet sometimes you just can't get it out of your head. He won't read this. I will probably never say anything to him because I'm nice and thankfully can avoid being around him. And now that I have put it out there I hope to get it out of my head. And thank you to all that have supported me. For all your kind words and encouragement, you will never know how much it helps. And to those who think I was gross before, or even now, I don't care. At least I am doing something to better myself. I doubt that guy is doing something to stop himself from being a jerk (and yes I had many other stronger words in my head).

A Time Out for Mommy

I am a time out mom. Time outs work for us. It isn't always a sit in the corner time out, sometimes it's more of a sit quietly and color or just take a breather by yourself. This does not just apply to Mady (Brynn is still a bit young), but it also is for Mommy and Daddy. Every parent can tell you there are just moments when it's too much. The crying, the whining, the messiness, it all just gets overwhelming at times. No matter how much you love you kids, you need a break.

I don't get a long break often. An occasional trip to the grocery by myself, locking myself in the bathroom for 10 min, a quiet nap time with no cleaning required. Those are what I can hope for most of the time. They are little time outs throughout the day. A few minutes where no one needs me (although sometimes they cry like they do). But on occasion even the most patient and best mommies and daddies need a longer time out. A couple weekends ago Steven got to go to a movie and next weekend he is going to a football game, so I decided that this past weekend I was going to go out. So that's what I did. Saturday morning I told Steven I would be home by nap and I left. I went to the mall. I tried on clothes all over. I took my time picking things out. Searching through all the wonderful sales. I found new shirts, which was nice after I gutted my closet and drawers of all the clothes that are too big. I am left with just 1 fitting skirt and 2 fitting jeans right now. So I had plenty of room to hang new clothes. When I got home a few hours later I felt better. I felt ready to tackle the weekend.

I go way too long without taking a long time out. Don't be like me. Plan your time so you can take a break once a month or so. Do something just for you. This applies even if you don't have kids. You may be constantly working or doing school or helping others. You deserve a break for yourself. Take one.

The most annoying new mom advice

I was recently asked to contribute advice for a baby shower gift to a new mom. These things are cute and always well meaning. And I knew that included in there by more than one person, including moms themselves, was going to be my least favorite advice. Admittedly I have given the advice myself, I'm sorry to all I have said it to. And it's not given just to new moms, but to any mom with a new baby.

What is it you ask??? Well here goes....Sleep when your baby sleeps. Okay in theory this advice is great. If baby naps, mommy naps. Labor is hard and you are up all hours of the night in the first few months, so the idea of sleeping whenever baby sleeps is a good one, yet completely impractical in most circumstances. If you are lucky enough to live near family or can hire someone to come to your house to cook, clean, do laundry, and everything else around your house for a few months then go ahead, sleep when your baby sleeps. But if you are like me and had in house help for just a week then at some point you are going to have start doing laundry (which adds up quick with a newborn), the bathrooms eventually need cleaned, and you are going to run out of or want something different than your previously prepared and frozen meals. And while a husband and daddy can help, there are some things mommy still needs to do. Also if you are sleeping when your baby sleeps all the time you never truly get time to yourself. At least for me, taking a nap is not exactly mommy time. It's great, but afterwards I don't feel like I've done something just for me.

And please don't get me started if its not your first child. If you have another child at home, particularly one that still needs help and attention like a toddler or preschooler, there is not a chance that you can nap all the time. Even once a day sometimes.

So what's my advice instead, if you want to take a nap do it. But don't feel pressured to. I always felt like people were lecturing me because I would be up doing something during nap time. If you don't want to, if you would rather fold laundry or clean the toilet because that will make you feel a little better to know its done, do it. Even if you would rather just sit and read a book or watch tv do that.

Lets be honest the real time for naps and good sleep was prior to having the baby...

Getting rid of the X

So I hopped on the scale this morning and was pleasantly surprised to discover I have now lost 75lbs! Yay! Just 5lbs more to my end of the year goal! Which I am thinking I will just make a Thanksgiving goal. That way when I gain a pound or 2 on Thanksgiving I don't have to worry about it too much. I was really surprised because I have not been working out like I wanted this week. I've missed 2 workouts. It has been by choice and for my own sanity though. Sleeping has been rough for me this week, you know when you just can't turn your brain off and you wake up a lot at night (if you have never had this happen to you, please tell me your secret). That's what I've been doing all week. So I have skipped a couple of my morning workouts so I can get some extra sleep. Sleep is a necessity when you have kids. And being able to handle my girls and smile with them is more important than working out to lose a couple extra pounds. Don't get me wrong though, I did workout Monday morning and ran Tuesday night, so it's not like I have just been sitting around.

This past weekend we went to Old Navy to pick up a couple new shirts, because many of mine are not fitting. So I was looking at some shirts in the size that I have most of mine in XL, and I decided that I was going to be daring and buy some just in Large. Now that may not seem like a big deal, but I haven't worn Large shirts in years and years. So finally feeling like I don't have to get the absolute biggest size they have every time, is great. I know that at some stores I still can't wear any of their clothes, but you have to celebrate the small victories when you are trying to do something big.

This is also a reminder that it is probably time to go through my clothes and start getting rid of some that are too big. That is a big thing for me. It's like that final thing saying I promise I will not gain this weight back and be the size I was. But that is what want. So this weekend I think I am going to work on a donation pile. Hopefully it will give my drawers a little breathing space.

Baby Blues

Things are not always easy in life. That's just how life is. When I decided I wanted to lose weight and commit my life to being healthier I was not in the greatest place. I had 2 children and a husband that I loved, but I was struggling with myself. I was going through a bit of the baby blues. For those who don't know, having a baby is a beautiful and wonderful thing and you love your new baby like no other. But you also have very imbalanced hormones and it is extremely common to go through a rough time emotionally after you've had a child. It is not to be confused with post-pardum depression, which is very serious and if you think you have you need to talk to someone right away.

For me the baby blues didn't come on until Brynn was 3-4 months old. I didn't recognize it in myself right away, neither did anyone I was around. Steven could tell something was off, but honestly I was just going through the motions of it all. I was not truly enjoying my kids, while I loved them very much, I just did what I had to everyday to get through it. I had lost nearly all my baby weight, yet gained 15lbs back. Steven and I went through a tough time. I remember actually telling him through tears one night that I didn't really want to spend time with him. All I really wanted to do was sit around and watch TV or be on the computer. I didn't want to hang out with anyone, especially my husband. Even thinking about it now I get teary eyed and emotional because I can't believe it was true. I was doing harm to my family and it had to stop.

That was when I decided to start get myself in shape. I was watching The Doctors on TV and they were talking about hormones after having a baby and it finally clicked that my hormones had taken control and I was not me anymore. I decided to start eating better, exercise, getting myself healthy, after seeing some of their suggestions. That is what made Megan come back. It took a couple months and more emotional times to finally start to feel like myself again. I consider myself lucky, that I could handle it on my own, but I deeply regret not talking to a friend or family about what I was going through. I didn't really know though. I knew I wasn't myself, but I didn't understand why. My case was not severe. I was lucky there too. But too often this kind of thing doesn't get talked about and then builds and builds until it is overwhelming.

I know I am not the only mom that has gone through this. If you are having a hard time after having a baby talk to someone. Don't think you have to be strong and do it all on your own, you have friends and family you can talk to. I promise other moms have been through it. And pregnant moms, don't let this scare you. You will be fine. But please be aware that it is real and that you have to take care of yourself after you have a baby too, just the little one.

A little secret...

So I have a secret. Okay it's not actually a secret, it's just not something I talk about or get asked about, so it just is what it is. Anyways, here it goes, I still breastfeed Brynn. Okay it's not that big. It actually effects very little of my life right now and unless you are at my house at nap or bed time, you probably wouldn't know. But I know that having a 13 month old and still breastfeeding is not the norm. At least here in the US. But honestly it doesn't seem weird to me. Not now that I am doing it.

I do want to clarify though, I am not one of those moms that will tell you breastfeeding is the only way and that if you give your child formula you are wrong. Please, every mom knows what is best for each child of hers and for herself. With Mady I both breastfed and formula fed for 7 months before I switched to all formula. I knew that was best for her and myself at the time. When I had Brynn I was determined to breastfeed for 6 months, and once I reached the 6 month point Brynn just wasn't ready to give it up and honestly it wasn't interfering too much in my life, so I kept going. Now at 13 months I nurse 2 or 3 times a day and I'm fine with it. Brynn drinks whole milk and eats all kinds of solids and is growing normally.

Why write this? Why tell people when I don't really have to? I am tired of both sides of people who argue about this. The moms who preach that breastfeeding is the only way and that if you give formula you are wrong (those moms annoy the crap out of me). Then the people that think it is just too weird to breast feed past a certain arbitrary point because it's weird. I agree and think it's weird to see a 4 year old breastfeeding, but that is that mom's decision and if she wants to do it, good for her. Her decision in no way effects my life, so why should I care. This goes for many parenting decisions. Why does everyone think thy have a right to tell others how to parent? I understand there are some health and safety issues that I think it's okay to intervene with. A baby not riding in a car seat, yes someone needs to say something. A mom choosing to use a swaddle or not, or let their baby sleep with them, or have a c-section by choice is not harming the child, is not harming anyone around them, so why should anyone else get a say.

Okay this is kind of rambling, but my point is, let parents raise their own children. Shut your mouth, keep your opinion and advice to yourself unless asked and let moms and dads figure it out. And new mommies, don't be so nervous you think you need advice on everything. Go with your gut. You know your baby like no one else. You love your baby unlike anyone ever will. You will screw up. At some point your baby will fall off of something and probably be fine. Don't panic and think you are horrible mom. Every mom has done it. Mady fell off the bed in the bouncer seat at a couple months old. Yep it was horrible and scary and she was fine. They both rolled off the couch at some point, and now that they walk and run they fall all the time. Just stop judging other parents and them be.